We all face adversity.

And for many us, the first thing we do is feel awful. That’s understandable.

But what do you do after that?

Well, if we are to believe Oscar Wilde, these bitter trials are blessings in disguise.

Here are three ways to help you to see the blessings in disguise, tapping into insights from mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

1. Where there’s Pain, there’s Purpose

Let’s say one of your friends suddenly stops talking to you. If this upsets you, this is painful. And that pain is because something meaningful has been taken away. You value love and kindness and social connection, and that’s been taken away. And so your pain points to what you value. Your pain shows you are a caring human being. If you didn’t feel anything, it would show you didn’t care about such relationships. So the blessing is the reminder of your desire to connect. And your deeper compassion for others going through a similar experience in their lives.

2 .Learning Lessons

I remember in the past I had a bad experience with a tenant, and they effectively took a lot of my money and ran away. They conned a few other people along the way too. Having had that experience, I learnt my lesson. So although the experience was unpleasant, I’ve learnt a lot and haven’t made that same mistake again. 

Think about your past adversity and what lessons you’ve learnt. They are blessings in disguise!

3. Acceptance is a Skill That Brings Peace

When things go wrong and we don’t accept them, we feel a lot of pain. And acceptance is hard. But it’s a skill we can learn to grow over time. We can begin with small things. You spill some milk. Your partner forgets to do something. Learning to accept is one of life’s greatest skills, and when things go wrong, it’s a chance to practise that skill. You may never be perfect at it, but you can get a little bit better each time. One cool trick to develop acceptance is to notice the emotions in your body when something goes wrong, and just become curious of them rather than trying to immediately react to them. This curiosity is a powerful friend of yours that can help to bring acceptance into your life, especially of the things you can’t change.

Summary

Life has a habit of not going to plan. But when this happens, it’s not all bad. There are many different perspectives we can take. This ability to be flexible and see things from different perspectives can help you to see challenges as blessings in disguise.

Guided Meditation

Here’s this week’s guided meditation based on the quote from Oscar Wilde. Enjoy

If you enjoyed this post and/or meditation, try our free mindfulness challenge.