This is another story from our book Mindfulness for Transformation. The stories are written by members of our community.

By - Sarah Spiers

I’ve experienced anxiety since I was a teenager. I remember being sat in an exam worrying about whether I’d locked the door correctly–rather than worrying about the exam!

This continued into my twenties. As a teacher, I constantly worried about not remembering dismissing a child from school, even though I always had.The excessive worry would not leave until I saw them the next day: I was unable to let go of the ‘what if’ scenarios. (I don’t think becoming a teacher helped with my anxiety–it’s stressful!)

My life changed in my mid-twenties, after I discovered mindfulness. Now, I have a better handle on my fear and anxiety. I also have a lot more books on my bookshelf, and I’m more aware of my breath, brain and body. Mindfulness is in my toolbox, along with a host of other wonderful things in my life (such as running, yoga, singing, playing the piano, chocolate cake...). It has helped me face my fears and given me the courage to be more resilient, and I feel as if I’ve expanded the limits on what I can achieve. Discovering mindfulness has also made me passionate about teaching mindfulness in schools, with the aim of equipping young people with these simple tools to use in life.

I discovered a talk on mindfulness organised by Action for Happiness, which became something I attended regularly. They invited lots of interesting speakers, facilitated engaging discussions and made me feel good after a long day. I look at my pocket-sized notebooks of inspirational things I’ve jotted down over the years, and lots of nuggets of wisdom came from those talks. (I recommend carrying a little notebook that fits in your pocket, so you can write down any great ideas, quotes or inspiration.)

The first mindfulness course I tried was a six-week course with The Now Project. I found it quite hard and I didn’t take part in many of the discussions, but I was beginning to benefit from really focusing on the present moment. I also noticed for the first time how lovely it was to walk across a nearby bridge over the Thames.I loved crossing that bridge and looking at the buildings lit up at night while I watched the boats go by.

I discovered an online Teach Mindfulness course (with Shamash Alidina), and it immediately resonated with me. As a teacher, I find learning how to teach something is the best way to learn!Although the calming meditations sometimes sent me to sleep, I loved hearing other people’s stories and liked that people were taking part from all over the world, listening and learning from each other. It was a great experience.

A component of the course involved doing a project. I knew straight away that I wanted to focus my project on mindfulness in schools. The headteacher let me do a few weeks of mindfulness with the Year 3 classes. I gave a staff talk about how we could use mindfulness in the classroom, teaching simple exercises that they could try. I bought a chime for each classroom, which ended up being a great ‘one-minute refocus’ mindful listening win! I went on to lead workshops for parents on mindsets and mindfulness, and I introduced them to mindful eating exercises, which they enjoyed. A parent told me how her son was using mindful breathing to calm down when he was frustrated. I found it encouraging that parents were picking up on the small changes as their children began to apply this new skill.

Running these workshops also helped me to get better at speaking in front of others. I did lots of mindful breathing beforehand and actually enjoyed standing up and talking about something that I was passionate about. We went on to achieve a Healthy Schools Silver Award based on our whole-school approach to implementing mindfulness.

One of my biggest achievements has been controlling my fear of performing music. Positive preparation helps me now. I used to always imagine the worst thing that could happen, which stopped me from doing so much. Now, rather than thinking I will forget the words, I put a lot of effort into visualising a positive outcome. It’s really helped me to go out in front of an audience, sing solo and enjoy it: to be in the moment, feel my breath and go for it. I still get scared, but thanks to mindfulness I have ways to control my fear.

To me, mindfulness and the arts are entwined. They both allow you to explore your individuality. As a teacher, I am passionate about providing children with a creative education, and I would like to see mindfulness and the arts being used more to educate children about mental health: to help children to connect with each other and develop their reflective and communication skills, as well as promote curiosity and bravery.

Mindfulness has also taught me to be a lot nicer to myself. Talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend has always struck me as a helpful way to think. But probably the biggest mindfulness win for me is that it has given me so much more time to do the things I enjoy. Ruminating about my fears and anxieties on an endless loop was an absolute nightmare when I didn’t have mindfulness as a tool, but now I can spend my time enjoying life rather than worrying.

I’m writing this five days before my 30th birthday, and although I would love to say that my thirties will be free of anxiety and fear, I’m realistic enough to know they won’t be. Feeling anxiety is part of being human–and I think accepting that is a good thing. I hope that mindfulness is going to make a big difference to the world and allow future generations to talk openly about mental health. In hindsight, I wish I had learnt these skills earlier in my life, like the children in my school are. I hope that the ‘Baby Pea’ currently in my tummy is able to grow up to talk openly about the importance of looking after his brain!

I’ll end with a dream for the future. I would love to open up a wellbeing café with cups of tea, cake and lots of workshops. I’d call it ‘The Ripple Café’, because we all go up and down like ripples on water. I hope you follow your dreams too!

Get in touch for details to join our Daily Mindfulness Club or Teach Mindfulness Academy communities